Soccer Player Severely Injured For A Sec

BRAZIL—In a gruesome scene at a World Cup match up between Portugal and Ghana, Cristiano Ronaldo suffered a severe injury for several seconds. “It was too much to watch,” said one eyewitness in the stands, who had to look away for a moment or two while Ronaldo writhed and screamed in pain temporarily. Paramedics were […]

Brazil Announces Plans To Play Defense Against Netherlands

BRAZIL—After the humiliating 7-1 defeat at the hand of the Germans, the Brazilian soccer team announced plans to play defense against the Netherlands. “We watched the game tape and have decided to play defense against the Oranje,” said Brazilian coach Luiz Felipe Scolari, who added that his goalie will also attempt to block shots from […]

Brazil To Host Next Super Bowl, World Series, Masters, Wimbledon Championships

BRAZIL—Following the early success of the World Cup and the on-pace execution of the 2016 Olympic Games, authorities announced this morning that Brazil will host the next Super Bowl, World Series, Masters, and Wimbledon Championships. “We are very proud to accept this honor of hosting four of the greatest sports championships in the world right […]

Analysts Estimate Tens Of Americans To Watch World Cup

BRISTOL, CT—With the start of the World Cup only months away, analysts at ESPN issued a report today showing that they expect tens of Americans to watch the 2014 World Cup. “Based on our predictive modeling, we believe that the World Cup held in Brazil could attract several tens of American soccer fans to tune in,” […]