Where the World Gets Its News
NEW YORK, NY—Executives at Marvel Comics announced today that in the upcoming issue of its Avengers series, fans will be introduced to a new supervillain called the Unarmed Black Teenager. “We are very excited to release our most diabolical villain yet,” said Axel Alonso, the publisher’s Editor-in-Chief, adding that the team of Ironman, Thor, Captain America, […]
JACKSONVILLE, FL—Citing equal rights and an unfair interpretation of the state’s “Stand Your Ground” law, overweight Floridians are calling on policymakers for a “Sit Your Ground” provision. “Florida’s self-defense laws are entirely unconstitutional,” said Jason Wright of the American Civil Liberties Union, “as the regulations do not account for the fact that obese citizens, at […]
The Lonely Petunia 
I’m Jeb B***, And I’m Running For President