ROANOKE, VA—Sources confirmed early this afternoon that local 5-year-old Eric Waters is under the impression that he is helping his mother bake cookies. “I want to stir it!” exclaimed Eric, who proceeded to barely mix the ingredients together in a large mixing bowl due to his lack of necessary strength and coordination, thereby slowing up […]
The Lonely Petunia 
Holy Fuck! The Floor Turned To Lava!
Summertime can be pretty boring for a kid, especially when it’s raining. Normally, I’d be outside exploring my backyard trying to find cool bugs or playing basketball with my neighbor Jeremy. But on a day like this, when it’s just raining buckets outside, there’s not much to do. You would think that I could play […]