Exhausted Jesus To Rise Monday, Maybe Tuesday

HEAVEN—Noting that He is just totally exhausted and could really use the extra rest, Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior announced today that He’ll rise Monday, if not Tuesday. “It’s been a crazy couple months, and three days just isn’t going to cut it,” said a visibly tired Jesus to reporters on Good Friday, the […]

‘Son Of God’ To Introduce Jesus To Children Born After ‘The Passion Of The Christ’

HOLLYWOOD, CA—Released to theaters nationwide today, the new film Son of God will introduce Jesus Christ to children born after the 2004 movie The Passion of the Christ. “We are very excited to tell the story of Jesus Christ, especially to those kids born after Mel Gibson’s Passion who have never heard of Jesus,” announced […]