Gay Couple Explains Bigoted Assholes To Adopted Children

COLUMBIA, MO—Unable to avoid the topic any longer, gay couple Patrick Lang and Andrew Pearson finally sat down to explain bigoted assholes to their adopted children. “We know that you have been seeing a lot of these close minded jerks on TV and in the news,” explained Mr. Lang to Evan, 8, and Kelly, 10, […]

Maybe I’m Misunderstanding The Issue, But Gays Should Be Able To Vote

I don’t watch a lot of news. In fact, you could say that I barely watch any news, especially if it’s political. The partisan conversation has never interested me. It gets people so bent out of shape over issues completely out of their control. So, I am definitely not an authority in the arena of […]

Michael Sam Looking To Be First Gay NFL Concussion Victim

GALVESTON, TX—Missouri defensive end Michael Sam told reporters on Sunday that he is gay, and he hopes to become the first openly gay NFL player to suffer a concussion. “I am an openly gay, proud man,” proclaimed Sam, “and I am looking to enter the 2014 NFL Draft so I can someday be the first […]