Bill O’Reilly Reports Auschwitz Prisoners Got Ample Exercise

New York, NY – Following his comments that the slaves who built the White House were well fed and had decent housing, Fox News pundit Bill O’Reilly reported that prisoners got ample levels of exercise during their stay at the Auschwitz concentration camp. “During the 1940’s, all inhabitants of the camp had at least one […]

Chicago Drains Lake Michigan For The Winter

CHICAGO, IL—Following Labor Day and the onset of cooler temperatures, Chicago drained Lake Michigan this past weekend. “Winter is right around the corner, so unfortunately we have to close the lake to the public,” said Mayor Rahm Emanuel in a press conference. Sources confirmed that city workers will be winterizing the pipes flowing into the […]

250 People Knowingly Put Lives In Hands Of Man They Never Met

ATLANTA, GA—In an unbelievable act of trust at Atlanta’s Hartsfield-Jackson airport this afternoon, a group of 250 people knowingly put their lives in the hands of a complete stranger. “Welcome aboard United flight 4512 with service from Atlanta to Houston,” said the man over the airplane’s loudspeaker, representing the only form of communication each of […]