Openly Gay Presenter Talks About Backdoor Trading to Absolutely No Snickers or Giggles

SAN DIEGO, CA – Openly gay compliance officer Eric Manning gave a presentation to the rest of his co-workers about the perils of backdoor trading, but absolutely no one even so much as smirked at the very obvious double entendre. The title of the presentation itself, “Say No to the Backdoor,” should have elicited at least […]

Moody’s Downgrades Chicago Municipal Bonds to “Newark”

CHICAGO, IL – Due to rising crime costs and an ever increasing pension liability, putting the City of Chicago at major risk, rating agency Moody’s decided to downgrade the city’s municipal bonds to “Newark,” one of the lowest ratings out there. “There are some beautiful parts of the city, I guess, but Chicago already has a […]

Researchers Still Figuring Out Best Word for “Sexy Tweet”

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Sexting, the act of exchanging sexually explicit text messages, has been around for several years and used by numerous groups including curious teenagers, persistent ex-boyfriends, and reality television stars. In fact, the name “sexting,” a mash up of the words “sexy” and “texting,” has become common vernacular in today’s mobile age. Researchers, […]