Man Sitting Alone At Fifty Shades Of Grey Hopefully Waiting For Someone

BALTIMORE, MD—Noting that the middle aged man was sitting by himself in the slowly filling movie theater for Fifty Shades Of Grey, sources confirmed hopes that someone was going to join him. “I really pray he’s not here by himself and that his girlfriend or wife is just in the bathroom,” confirmed one eyewitness sitting a couple rows behind the slightly balding male. Reports showed that he didn’t appear to be saving a seat next to him as he had his jacket in his lap, but that doesn’t mean someone isn’t coming. “The theater isn’t full yet, so maybe he doesn’t feel the need to save a seat just yet for a friend who is at the snack bar or maybe running late. Hopefully someone comes real soon because I think the previews are about to start.” Final reports showed that as the lights dimmed, Jesus Christ, he did come alone.

Just blend in.

Just blend in.


  1. If people can read the book with a look of ‘Serious Literature’ on their faces in public, why shouldn’t a guy watch the damn thing alone?! Maybe this particular type of misery doesn’t love company 😀

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