BOSTON, MA—Taking into account his already packed schedule for today and the rest of the week, local Boston sports fan Paul McHale decided to forgo the Patriots Super Bowl parade and assumes he’ll just catch the next championship rally. “I’ve got a pretty important lunch with a prospective client, and I have to finish up that Johnson presentation by the end of the day. I’m sad I’m going to miss the parade today because Tom Brady is the man, but, whatever, I’ll just be sure to go to the next one,” explained Mr. McHale to reporters. According to sources, Mr. McHale just attended the rally for the Red Sox in 2013 and the Bruins in 2011, so he was reportedly “not too bent out of shape” missing this one in order to attend to more pressing matters, adding that he will definitely go to the next Boston championship parade in a year or two. “It’s really not a big deal.” Final reports showed that Larry Watkins from Cleveland drove all the way to Boston today for the parade just to see what it feels like.
New England, Old News
The Lonely Petunia 
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