Report: Feet Under Bathroom Stall Definitely Mike’s

IRVINE, CA—A new report issued this morning stated that in the men’s restroom at Skyworks Solutions the feet underneath the bathroom stall are definitely Mike’s. “At approximately 10:04 AM this morning, the pair of feet visible below the stall dividers assuredly belong to Michael Fritz from accounting,” read the report, which arrived at the conclusion based upon Mike’s black Kenneth Cole shoes and those blue pants that he always wears. Reportedly, the red boxers were deemed inconclusive evidence, but no one else in the office other than Mike would wear socks like that. “Going to the bathroom after the morning meeting is also consistent with Mike’s previous behavior.” Early in the afternoon, an addendum to the report affirmed that Jim from IT had now entered the stall based upon his heavy, raspy breathing.

Hey buddy!