BREAKING: Kid Thinks He’s Helping

ROANOKE, VA—Sources confirmed early this afternoon that local 5-year-old Eric Waters is under the impression that he is helping his mother bake cookies. “I want to stir it!” exclaimed Eric, who proceeded to barely mix the ingredients together in a large mixing bowl due to his lack of necessary strength and coordination, thereby slowing up the entire baking process. Reportedly, Eric earlier broke an egg all over the kitchen counter after insisting that his mother let him do it. Sources added that Eric inserted himself into the process under the pathetic impression that he could actually assist his adult mother, who most likely just wants to bake the cookies and get on with her day. “We make a good team, Mommy,” said Eric, who is totally unaware that he’s terrible at baking and ruining what could have been a perfect batch of delicious cookies. At press time, Eric’s little brother Kevin thought he was helping bring groceries into the house when he spilled an entire bag of oranges all over the fucking garage.

Mommy's little "helper"

Mommy’s little “helper”


  1. I’ll be honest…I’m a little jealous I didn’t come up with this post. Especially since that kind of thing happens almost daily in my home…..good post.

  2. This is awesome! First post that I’ve read on this account and I’m hooked.

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