Reasoned, Compassionate Conversation Moved To Kids Table

RIPLEY, OH—Due to high tensions amongst the adult family members stemming from recent current events, sources confirmed that any and all reasoned and compassionate conversations during the Robinson family Christmas dinner were moved to the kids table. “I guess I see what you’re saying, but I still liked The Lego Movie better than Big Hero 6,” said Kevin Robinson, recognizing his cousin’s opinion and calmly expressing his own, while the dispute at the adult table moved to finger pointing and veiled accusations of racism. Reportedly, Kevin’s big brother tackled the nuanced debate by saying that both movies were “still pretty good though” over his father yelling at his uncle and asking him, “well then which side are you fucking on?!” Allegedly, the kids table collectively came to the agreement that liking The Lego Movie doesn’t mean you couldn’t also like Big Hero 6 while Kevin’s mom was crying and reminding everyone it’s Christmas. Final reports showed that Kevin politely asked for someone to pass the mashed potatoes right before Uncle Frank left the house.

Grow up.

Grow up.

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