LOS ANGELES, CA—Sitting down with reporters yesterday, Ridley Scott, director of the new film Exodus: God and Kings, encouraged audiences to see the movie in 3D the way God intended. “This is a film of truly biblical proportions, and the only way to see it, as decreed by the Almighty Himself, is in eye-popping three dimensions,” said Scott in his statements. According to sources, Scott added that the Heavenly Father would be very displeased if the story of Moses leading the Hebrews out of Egypt, complete with astonishing set pieces and mind-blowing special effects, was not fully appreciated through a set of divine 3D glasses. “The holy story as played out by the cinematic prophets Christian Bale and Joel Edgerton would be sadly lost if it doesn’t feel like they’re right in your face through state of the art technology. While I may be a lowly director, I believe that the additional $3 to see the movie in all its 3D glory is a small sacrifice that would fulfill God’s original plan for us all.” Following initial reviews, producers of Exodus added that they’d just be happy if anyone saw the movie at all.
Do as He says.
The Lonely Petunia 
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