Co-Worker Set To Mention Morning Workout 12 Times Today

TAMPA, FL—Noting that he will do everything he can to share with the entire office that he worked out this morning, sources confirmed that co-worker Chris Jenson will mention his morning workout 12 times throughout the day. “Man, I had a great work out this morning,” will be Mr. Jenson’s first and most literal declaration regarding his morning exercise routine, though analysts expect him to get more creative as the day moves along. One expert predicts that Mr. Jenson will stop to stretch near a cluster of cubicles in the late morning and discuss how those kettle bell swings really did a number on his hamstrings. Further, during lunch, Mr. Jenson is expected to joke that he deserves his cookie after all the burpees he put in at 6:30 AM this morning. “Nothing better than going home at the end of the day knowing you already got your workout in.” In related news, co-worker Kelly Swanson announced plans to discuss her new paleo diet every fucking day.

Good for you.

Good for you.


  1. Reblogged this on Snark In Spades and commented:
    This sums up how I feel about those who post about their workout on their social media every day. Do you think if you don’t blog/post/tweet (or talk about at the morning meeting) about it – it doesn’t count?

    Ps, the bosshole went running last night. He told us. Twice.

  2. It has been noted by some that my gym bag is no longer in my office. This is because I went to the gym once last week and am now basking in the glory of my spin class, whilst eating a muffin.

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