Area Man Forgets Lifelong Dreams Every Morning

WAUSAU, WI—Area man Brad Hanon shared with reporters today that every single time he wakes up in the morning he completely forgets his lifelong dreams. “Sometimes I try really hard to remember my lifelong aspirations, but sure enough, every morning, I just can’t remember what they were,” said Mr. Hanon, noting that he doesn’t even know the last time he was able to recall his deeply seated personal ambitions. During the interview, Mr. Hanon said that he has plenty of friends who are readily able to recollect their passions in the morning and spend every day trying to achieve what they want most out of life, but he usually ends up with a blank every morning before heading to work at the local Pick ‘n Save. “I think there was one time where I woke up and hazily remembered my desire to go to film school and become a director, but after a few moments it kind of disappeared, so I got ready for work.” At press time, Mr. Hanon’s day dream about accepting an Oscar was quickly forgotten after being asked to take an 81-year-old lady’s grocery bags to her car.

What a nightmare.

What a nightmare.

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