FRANKLIN, IN—On your most recent trip home, sources confirmed that Scout, the family dog, definitely saw you washing your hands after every time you pet him. “I was so excited to see you since I hadn’t seen you since Christmas,” Scout told reporters following the incident. “But immediately after petting me, I totally saw you go right to the kitchen sink and wash your hands. I couldn’t believe it.” Scout added that he saw you wash your hands literally every time you petted, hugged, or touched him throughout the evening. Reportedly, Scout also heard you ask your mom if she had any Claritin D and saw you check if your bedroom had been properly vacuumed, all within 10 minutes of walking in the door. Sources close to Scout revealed that he was especially hurt to see this because, after playing all day outside, he didn’t even hesitate to welcome you with kisses as soon as he saw you. “You think I’m going to waste any time with a bath when one of my best friends comes home?” Final reports showed that Skittles the cat saw you wash your hands too but couldn’t give a shit.
This article was originally posted on The Whiskey Journal
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