Obama Promises Iraq Involvement To Be Super Duper Quick

WASHINGTON, DC—Following the announcement that U.S. jet fighters have hit Islamic State artillery positions in northern Iraq on Friday, President Obama held a press conference to promise the American people that the country’s military involvement in Iraq is going to be like super, duper quick. “As of this morning, F-18’s have dropped laser guided bombs outside Erbil to strike mobile positions of the ISIS. But please just chill—this is going to take like no time at all, and we’ll be out of there lickity split,” said President Obama to the White House press corps. Sources confirmed that the President walked reporters through his very short plan that results in no ground invasion whatsoever and will be over before anyone knows it. “Look, we’re going to just go in there and drop some bombs and save some people, and bada bing, bada boom everything will be back just the way it was. OK?” At press time, President Obama was reportedly asking military officials for the level of U.S. troops in surrounding areas.

“I got this.”