Man Asks Woman To Spend Rest Of Their Miserable Lives Together

MARION, OH—While sitting down to a romantic picnic in Harding Park, area man Chris Parker asked area woman Michelle Sandberg to spend the rest of their pathetic, miserable lives together. “I love you so much. Will you marry me?” said Mr. Parker on one knee, effectively proposing that the two of them devote the remainder of their insignificant existence to each other until their ultimate deaths. Reportedly, Ms. Sandberg said “Yes!” and started crying at the exciting thought of facing the inherent sadness of life not as individuals but as one half of a beautiful partnership that will hopefully ease the pain of drudging through the next several decades of life on earth. Sources confirmed that the couple then shared the happy news by calling their families and friends and letting them all know that they are now engaged to carry out their pitiful lives as one. “You have just made me the happiest man alive [by making sure that I am not galloping through my bleak, meaningless future alone].” Final reports showed that the couple were already talking about creating another worthless life someday and naming it William or Megan.

Indecent proposal

Indecent proposal

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Comments

  1. this is so sad but true

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