Soccer Player Severely Injured For A Sec

BRAZIL—In a gruesome scene at a World Cup match up between Portugal and Ghana, Cristiano Ronaldo suffered a severe injury for several seconds. “It was too much to watch,” said one eyewitness in the stands, who had to look away for a moment or two while Ronaldo writhed and screamed in pain temporarily. Paramedics were reportedly called immediately to the graphic, transient sight to aid the wailing international soccer star, who saw his career flash before his eyes for at least a minute. In what many reporters are calling a modern sports miracle, medical workers were able to heal Ronaldo’s alleged concussion, torn ACL, broken ankle, and severed spine in a matter of seconds. “When he waved off the stretcher, I realized what a true hero he was,” said one Portugal fan, who felt utter relief upon seeing Ronaldo right back in the action following his inspiring recovery. At press time, Ronaldo was on the ground again after suffering yet another, even more ghastly injury during stoppage time.

This post was originally published on The Whiskey Journal

Flippity flop