Brazil Announces Plans To Play Defense Against Netherlands

BRAZIL—After the humiliating 7-1 defeat at the hand of the Germans, the Brazilian soccer team announced plans to play defense against the Netherlands. “We watched the game tape and have decided to play defense against the Oranje,” said Brazilian coach Luiz Felipe Scolari, who added that his goalie will also attempt to block shots from going in his goal. Several analysts agreed that playing defense could greatly increase the team’s chances in beating the Dutch on Saturday in the battle for third place. The team was reportedly practicing their new defensive maneuvers this week, including kicking the ball away from their own goal and towards the opposing team’s goal. “In trying times, you have to be willing to change strategy, so we’re going to try winning the match this time around.” At press time, Mr. Scolari had said nothing, however, about playing offense.

Eureka!

Eureka!

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