MILWAUKEE, WI—Returning home from work, area man Adam Harper set a new world record by stripping out of his business casual attire in a remarkable 3.8 seconds. “What can I say? Things really clicked tonight, and I was able to get out of those clothes faster than I ever have before,” said a proud Mr. Harper, who became the first man to break 4.0 seconds in shedding an entire outfit of shoes, slacks, and a button down shirt. Sources confirmed that as soon as Mr. Harper’s front door closed, he started undoing his belt buckle while simultaneously kicking off his shoes, a time-saving tactic he’s been practicing since he first started work at InnoTech three years ago. He then removed his Van Heusen dress shirt in the final 0.9 seconds, leaving the new record holder in only his underwear and socks, ready to change into sweatpants and a soft t-shirt. “I think I really deserve the three episodes of The Walking Dead I’m going to watch tonight.” Final reports show that Mr. Harper is on his way to breaking another record by leaving his clothes on the floor for six days.
Docker’s Tear Away Slacks
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