FORT WAYNE, IN—Several sources have confirmed that this morning at approximately 9:15AM, that girl you like posted some bikini pics on Facebook. “Finally putting these pictures up from spring break 2014!” posted Katie Johansen, that girl you’ve had a crush on for quite some time. Based solely on the album preview on the news feed, which includes several pictures of Katie in a two-piece on the beaches of Cancun, it was clear that this album was going to be chock full of images of her perfect figure that you’ve been dreaming about since you were both in first semester American History 204. The album reportedly includes pictures of her leaning over to build a sandcastle and playing beach volleyball with eight of her sorority sisters—also all in bikinis. “Can’t wait until Miami for summer vacation!” Final reports showed that by the end of the album this shirtless dude Chuck was showing up in a lot of pictures.
There goes your afternoon.
The Lonely Petunia 
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