TACOMA, WA—Driving this past weekend to a barbecue at a family friend’s house, local dad Bill Nealon refused to use Google Maps for directions. “Don’t worry. I know exactly where we are,” said Dad to Mom, who reportedly reminded him that they were already 20 minutes late and suggested that he just take a look at Google Maps on her iPhone to see if he was going in the right direction. Dad calmed everyone’s fears by saying that they were just at the Johnson’s place during Christmas, so the route will come back to him soon enough without asking Siri. Inside sources confirmed that Dad was just looking for Gerry Avenue, and then from there it’s just two lefts and a right, if he was remembering correctly. “You’ll see. That church is going to be up here on the left. I don’t need an app to tell me that.” Final reports showed that Dad finally listened to Mom and checked Google Maps, which showed the exact route he was going to take anyway.
“I got this.”
The Lonely Petunia 
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