Congress Raises Minimum Gauge

WASHINGTON, DC—In a landmark decision that will impact American households across the country, Congress passed a bill yesterday to increase the minimum gauge for firearms. “It is our duty to make sure our citizens are adequately equipped to protect their families,” announced Speaker of the House John Boehner, who led a bi-partisan effort to increase the minimum gauge on shotguns from 36 to 32 and the minimum caliber on handguns from 5mm to 6mm. The bill marks the first time in 20 years that the country has raised the minimum gauge, during which time the top echelon of gun collectors has gotten access to far superior firepower and highly advanced weaponry. “It is time that this country finally closes the gap between the haves and the have-nots by granting everyone a more progressive arsenal of bullets.” Final reports show that the bill also included a provision to grant bullet stamps for those lower income families that can’t afford to buy their own ammunition.

Ammo equality