Area Man Retires After 60 Years Of Youth, Health

BOSTON, MA—With 60 years of vigorous youth and perfect health successfully behind him, area man Peter Clifton has decided to retire. “I’m very sad to go, but I’m excited to take the time to focus on myself and my family,” said Mr. Clifton, who has devoted the past 35 years to Creighton & Lee, ultimately granting his best, most active years to the prestigious law firm. Prior to joining the firm, Mr. Clifton reportedly committed the first 25 years of his life—years filled with seemingly unlimited opportunity—to a singular focus of getting into and graduating from a top tier law school in order to give the next several beautiful decades of his finite life to the partners of any firm that would have him. “I’ve worked very hard over the years, but I want to thank Creighton & Lee for giving me so [little] in return.” Final reports show that, in addition to 35 years of his personal wellbeing, Mr. Clifton gave Creighton & Lee a marriage and a relationship with his son.

The future’s so bright.