Area Man Much More Productive After Switching To Morning Masturbation Routine

RALEIGH, NC – Local resident Jerry Dillon has reportedly been much more productive over the past several weeks after switching to a morning masturbation routine. “I used to jerk off every night because it helped me go to sleep,” said Mr. Dillon about his previous self-gratification schedule. “But one morning I woke up really horny, and I had some extra time before I needed to go to the office. So, I rubbed one out in the shower, and I have to say it really changed things. I honestly can’t leave the house before I’ve had my morning crank.” Several sources confirmed that Mr. Dillon is significantly more focused and attentive at work after pleasuring himself every morning, sometimes finishing his sales calls in half the time with twice the production. “Jerry’s numbers have really shot up this past month,” remarked office manager Michael Barnes, adding, “But it’s more than that. He’s just been much friendlier and easier to get along with. I don’t know what his secret is, but I want in.” At press time, reports came in that Mr. Dillon had the best, most productive day of his life after he masturbated in the morning and at night.

Calendar blocked from 7:31AM - 7:34AM

Calendar blocked from 7:31AM – 7:34AM


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