IRVINE, CA – According to sources, area man Adam Franklin suffered severe injuries last night at the intersection of Jeffrey Road and Irvine Center Drive when his iPhone failed to notify him of a bus. “He was crossing the street, and I don’t think he saw it coming,” confirmed one eyewitness who saw bus 66 strike Mr. Franklin when his 5C neglected to highlight the blinking “Don’t Walk” sign. Reportedly, the smart phone failed to provide any kind of alert, banner, or badge app icon to inform him that a 12 ton bus was barreling his way. Sources added that Mr. Franklin is currently in the Irvine Odyssey Medical Center in critical condition because his iPhone’s notification center does not include a command to ring, beep, or vibrate when collisions with busses, trucks, cars, or trains are pending. Final reports confirmed that the bus driver’s iPhone failed to notify him of pedestrian.
“My ringer isn’t a car horn…”
The Lonely Petunia 
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