25 Things To Do Before You’re Born

  1. Catch up on reading
  2. Dance to your heart’s content before anyone can tell you you’re a terrible dancer
  3. Suck your thumb. It’s cool. Everyone does it.
  4. Open a deli
  5. Imagine what Mount Rushmore might look like during the wintertime
  6. Think of all the ways you’re going to piss mom off when you’re 2
  7. Listen to the muffled sounds of Mozart
  8. Right when things get quiet…ninja kick
  9. Give kale a shot
  10. Get rich or die trying
  11. Vagina dive
  12. Consider staying an extra week or two. You deserve it.
  13. Get an early start on your memoirs
  14. Shoplift
  15. Live for one month in a foreign womb
  16. Learn how to juggle
  17. See Schindler’s List
  18. The Macarena
  19. Develop that brain of yours and grow some fingers while you’re at it
  20. Invite another fetus over for wine and cheese
  21. Twist and shout
  22. Go an entire month without exercise
  23. Perfect that Jos Pesci impersonation you got going
  24. 100 consecutive summersaults
  25. Hold breath for 9 months
Don't let those 9 months go to waste.

Don’t let those 9 months go to waste.

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