BREAKING: Government Shut Down Clock Shuts Down, Government Continues

WASHINGTON, DC – The ticking clock counting down the minutes to the 12:00AM deadline for Congress to pass legislation to fund the government’s operations shut down this afternoon around 3:55PM EST, causing all members of both the House and Senate to revert back to serving the American people. “I think the clock malfunction brought us all back to our senses,” said a slightly dazed and confused Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH). “When it stopped ticking, I looked over at Harry [Reid], and we both realized that the clock is really an arbitrary mechanism used for political gamesmanship that holds the American people as hostages. It’s kind of a silly thing if you think about it.” Mr. Boehner and Mr. Reid then shook hands and agreed that this kind of brinkmanship is completely ludicrous and emotionally draining for just about everyone. They then vowed to “forget this nonsense” and get back to doing what the American citizens elected them to do. “We’re going to get back to work.” At press time the clock started up again, and Mr. Boehner punched Mr. Reid in the face.

It's counting down their approval rating

It’s counting down their approval rating

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