LONDON, ENGLAND – After months of testimony, the Court of England sentenced the lady who lives in a shoe to indefinite ingestion of birth control pills and 18 months of probation for acts of child abuse. According to several eyewitnesses, the old lady “had so many children, she didn’t know what to do.” The lady who lives alone has never been married and could not recount who the father(s) is/are of most of the children in her oddly shaped residence. The judge deemed forced contraceptives as an appropriate way to help the clearly overburdened old lady. She was further punished for overt acts of child abuse. One brave child, speaking for the rest of his brothers and sisters, recounted that “she gave them some broth without any bread.” As if that wasn’t enough, the cantankerous old lady “whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.” The lady was condemned to probation and community service, and will have to submit herself and her children to monthly visits from London Child Services. The Court was happy to put the case behind them and move onto the alleged animal cruelty case involving a one “Mother Hubbard.”
What kind of hell is this?
The Lonely Petunia 
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