Anthony Weiner Apologizes For Still Being a Politician

NEW YORK, NY – Former congressman and current New York City mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner held a press conference to apologize to the American people in response to new evidence that he never stopped being a politician. Mr. Weiner resigned as congressman in June 2011 due to a sexting scandal, which involved him sending lewd, naked pictures of himself to female fans—typical behavior of any American politician, really. He vowed to stop acting like your average, run-of-the-mill man in power, but new pictures and conversations show that you can take the man out of D.C., but you can’t take the D.C. out of the man. “I would like to apologize to the public for my behavior,” Mr. Weiner explained. “I hoped that resigning as congressman would end my run as a standard politician, but the truth is, deep down, I’ve always been a regular legislator.” One listener responded, “I guess I’m not surprised. I just wanted to believe so badly that he wasn’t your predicable, totally normal politician anymore.” After the conference, Huma Abedin, Mr. Weiner’s wife, indicated she was going to follow protocol and stand by her conventional man.

A dime a dozen...

A dime a dozen…

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